Woke up this morning and I knew I was in for a tough day! My dad, my hubby and my sister-in-law's mother's husband were going golfing-- I offered to stay with my sister in law's mom who has Cancer and has weeks to live. It was a hard day, alot of crying- you see she feels no pain but she is dying- I mean should she be grateful that she has no pain! Or does it just make it more difficult to understand that she is dying...
She is very confused and sleepy and is so sad to be leaving her grandchildren 4 of them all under 5- it is just heartbreaking. Like I have said before I have been there, sitting with my mom while she lay in bed waiting for the Lord to take her away-
Things like this really make me want to fight this eating disorder which I am doing ok with- No laxatives although I saw a bottle of milk of mag and thought of taking a swig-Now that is the anxiety talking! Why hurt myself when I see what is going on to the others around me-
On another note -- I am picking up more milage running-training for another 1/2 marathon- I want to beat last years time-
Still can not find a job-this really stinks- I used to make great $$$ and could shop every once in a while ---I did go shopping the other day for a couple work out shirts-Whoa hooo-- I do realize that I am lucky-healthy hubby-son-roof over our head-food in the fridge and still have my old smelly 12 year old lab! Life can be good-
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