Yesterday I kind of had a bad day and I know that my eating disorders have been based on anxiety. I am glad that I talked myself out of taking a laxative. I knew that tomorow is another day and it is and I feel good that I did not relapse. I just finished working out on the elliptical. I feel like all I do is work out -eat-clean and sleep!
I will find a job-RIGHT! Nervous about that!
Anyway the scale is still out of my bathroom and hidden waiting for me to smash the scale! No gym today so I can not weigh myself at the gym which I think is actually good- It just stresses me out- Really I have nothing to woorry about I mean I weigh 134 or so and I am 5'7! 2 years ago when I almost died my blood work was equal to a 90 year old woman. I was really lucky not to have perm heart damage. How embarressing to die from abusing laxatives!
Maybe I should smash on April Fool's Day! I mean I feel like a fool for so many years!
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