Laxatives Bad!!!!!

1st I was so happy that Sean Penn won last night-- He is my favorite actor-
My husband worked with him in Mystic River- I never met him though! Someday!

I saw my therapist today and it sound like she is very happy with my progress-Yeah --I did alot of thinking about how this all this started.. March 1st (2 years ago) I almost died-I was close to cardic arrest-and although I did not smarten up right away I am 90% there- The laxatives scale etc... It is all so exhausting! I was getting so tired!

I used to go the gym after not eating pretty much all day and due to laxatives lost about 5lbs of water weight. I could have died so many times. Now I want to get to 100% and help others! I will be smashing my scale-I will have my hubby take pics-Not sure about video tapping it. That might be a little over board. I exercise, eat and feel good-

I look at my little family and I am so lucky- I think that if I kept living the way I was living my son would not have a mother. That is unfair in so many ways. I just look at him and melt.

I also think about how many years I wasted. How many opportunities passed me by and how 90% of my thoughts and focus was on that number on the scale- Don't get me wrong , I was a party girl and had good times but the scale always brought me down. If I was on vacation I would search for a scale or bring extra laxatives just in case I indulged in to many drinks or food-So stupid!

I hope that others out there don't take laxatives--Please stop-It is so unhealthy- I literally had the insides of a 90 year old-- No way to live- I want to help- Talk it out - Take it day by day! Each day is a success!!!